I was looking at the man sitting beside me in our
study room. He was quiet but hands on his works seriously. The atmosphere was
calm in the cooling rainy night. I was attracted by his seriousness and felt
loved by him beside. I seldom attracted by him. Then, I hold his left
hand into me and rested my head on his shoulder before giving him a kiss on his
cheek. His smile earned another gentle kiss
on his lips.
This is the
man I married for 2 years plus. He’s not very handsome but still good looking,
not attractive enough which makes his sudden attractiveness precious. He’s not
romantic at all but is a good husband. And he's an easy going person actually. I love this man but I hate him too. Normal or abnormal, this is how it is.
Why do I
hate him?
He’s an
emotional insensitive person. I got hurt by his unintentional hurtful action and words and left 'time' to solve it which I need to heal by
myself. 90 percent of my words to him evaporated, sigh. He leaves germs, stains
and rubbish all the time that cleanliness-is-a-major-thing me have to clean+clean+clean while mumbling to myself. Another thing that most women do not like
is the husband comes home late every night and buddy with his stuff. This is a
piss off! Additionally, 9 out of 10 are empty promises
and often force me to do things I’m unwilling to or dislike.
Well, all
these may not be big deals but the accumulation of angers is a mental torture.
But why did
I married this man?
Really, I
don’t know how to explain. We are attached to each other. Despite all the anger, I will put him into my decisions so does him, I still love him. Although he’s so busy
most of the time he’d be beside me when I needed him. I like to share my ups
with him and his appearance could always comfort me when I’m in downs. We hold
each other into sleep every night. We grew our love from the beginning and we
are still growing it every day. He gives me security.
We had been through a lot throughout our relationship. He told me he will not leave me in his life, I believe he won’t. He’s working hard for our living and future. He’s a responsible husband. And I’m glad I have him, fortunate to have a good husband and we love each other.
We had been through a lot throughout our relationship. He told me he will not leave me in his life, I believe he won’t. He’s working hard for our living and future. He’s a responsible husband. And I’m glad I have him, fortunate to have a good husband and we love each other.
I tolerated
his messiness while he tolerates my impatience and irritable attitude. We are not perfect after all! Sure there'll be disagreements/arguments in marriages. But at the end, we make
each other smile.
I cannot
explain the reason of marrying him nor expressing orderly. This is the man I
want to hold with, this is the man I love. This is what I know, for sure.
Do I love
him? Yes I love him. Do I hate him more? Hmmm… maybe just a little… J Hate him mustn't mean shouldn't love him.
PS: It's not us in the pictures. We seldom take pictures and I try not to make you all sad with our skills J
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